Out of the Broom Closet

Alright, I am having one of those weeks in which i thoroughly regret being out of the broom closet.

When I first decided that I would be openly pagan, I was happy, overjoyed even to be able to openly and loudly call my self a "witch." I knew that I would experience a level of prejudice, fear, and general immaturity. The idea did not daunt me in any way, after all these are not the days in which we scream witch and string 'em up. My parents were shocked and quite a bit confused, but after some explanation they were okay with the idea. My friends accepted the fact and welcomed me with open arms, which i love them for.

High school proved to be pretty easy, far more easy than college. I decided to go to a religiously affiliated school in western Ohio because of their pre-veterinary medicine program. It is the top one in the country. I knew that i would experience some issues here, not from the university, but from my fellow students, as we attract many of the fundies around here. But I put my career before my reservations and came here anyway.

I love this college. Their program is amazing and I have learned and experienced more than i ever imagined on this side of veterinary school. However, i have definetly received my fair share of dumbassery and ill wishes due to my religion. I have lived in the dormitories thus far and have found them not worth the over a thousand dollars a month that i am paying to live here. Last year, my first year, i was in a hall of jackasses who came to college for no other reason than to waste their parents money and drink themselves into alcoholism. Among them, there were one or two admirable souls who were content to leave well enough alone and go on with their lives. However, there was a group who were lead by this southern, white supremacist, christian asshole. They all tormented me verbally and through fucking with the things on my door. I chalked it up to something to be ignored and just stoically accepted their idiotic words and actions. I am still at odds with the group, but i have moved to another dorm hall. i thought I was better off in another building, but i seem to find the fundies wherever I go.

This year, my sophomore year, i live in a first floor dorm in a hall full of men. While they are not as obnoxious as my hall-mates last year, they are even more prejudiced against me. I accepted the verbal, and literal abuse with my usual stoicism. I have grown used to unkind words and i have learned to just ignore them. I erased any unlikeable writings from my dry-erase board without a second thought. My stoicism, however, only lasted until my dry-erase board was stolen from my door. I informed my RA and she filed a report, but, in the end, nothing was done and I am still without a board on my door. This all paled in comparison to the final straw.

Yesterday, i came back from a questionable and stomach-irritating lunch in the university dining hall to find that i was missing many objects from my room. My candles, incense, incense burner, smudging stick, and ritual athame were all gone from my room. Also, my tarot cards and animal oracle had been rifled through. As these were all things (with the exception of the cards) that were questionable things to have in a dorm room, i automatically assumed that the university had confiscated them (I had been burning some incense that morning that could be smelled in the hallway). But if it had been the university they would not, or should not, have confiscated any of my belongings without me knowing about it. There was no note in my room, no email, or anything. The other option was that they were taken by the creedist assholes who have been giving me trouble all semester. However, my laptop, iPod, jeep radio, and many other things of value were all left untouched. I do not suspect my roommate only because he was far to concerned over the death of a family member to even consider such things, plus i cleared the burning of incense and candles in our room with him long before i even started rooming with him.

I am, needless to say, baffled. There are good for and against both sides of this story. If security had done it, they are not allowed to confiscate my property without notifying me before hand and they are also not allowed to open boxes like the box that i had my tarot cards in. On the other hand, the things that are missing are all objects that the university would take. we are allowed to have candles and incense, but not burn them. I understand taking the burning incense or even the burner, but all the rest of it, NO. there was no reason. If it had been the discriminators, i believe that more would have been missing. However, if the thieves performed a targeted theft, they may have tried to make it look like a security raid.

I am so very confused, and I am also wishing that I was still in the broom closet. It is a stress that i could live without at this moment in time. I think that this feeling will go away soon, but honestly i am very discouraged. I will continue to answer people honestly if they ask about my religion. I am still a witch and I am still damn proud. I will continue to move forward from this, with my lantern and my chin held high.